Here is Palm Springs Business Lawyer Sebastian Gibson’s Top Ten:

1. Keep a vigilant eye out for Putin entering Alaskan airspace dropping recession bombs.

2. Go shopping at Neiman Marcus for accessories.

3. Offer her unique knowledge to Barack Obama.

4. Get rid of those democrat turkeys.

5. Take over Fox News.

6. Rewrite the constitution.

7. Take charge in the Senate like she was going to do if she’d been elected.

8. Get rid of any newspapers that criticized her.

9. Be mavericky.

10. Keep trying to get in Barack Obama’s cabinet.

Now here is everything (well, almost everything) you need to know in business about environmental, international law, election and campaign law, consumer law, class actions, constitutional, internet, publishing, advertising, media, food and wine, hotel and restaurant law, estate planning, wills, trusts, water law, agricultural, insurance law, bad faith, psychologist and psychotherapist defense, education law and child accidents.

You can also find all you need to know (well, mostly) about business, personal injury, car accidents, brain damage, wrongful deaths, real estate, landlord-tenant, homeowners association law, construction, patents, trademarks, corporations, entertainment law, advertising, copyrights, and litigation by searching for those subjects and adding the words Palm Springs business lawyer or Palm Springs business attorney to your search terms and looking for other articles by Sebastian Gibson.

You can also learn more about any of these areas of law and how we can assist you as Palm Springs business attorneys, or as lawyers in any city, by calling the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson at any of the numbers which can be found on our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  .

1. Environmental and Toxic Tort Law in Palm Springs – With multi-billion dollar energy companies spending more money to confuse the public on the threat posed by global warming than on research into alternative forms of energy, it will take all of us to sort fact from fiction and solve the growing problem of global warming. An additional danger to all of us comes from exposure to toxic materials in our daily lives from tainted food, to contaminated ground water, to dangerous viruses in the public and in hospitals to lead and mercury poisoning. If you experience unusual symptoms that a doctor can’t explain, you may have been exposed to a toxic substance and have a toxic tort claim that should be evaluated by us or another qualified Palm Springs environmental attorney.

2. Palm Springs International, Shipping and Maritime Law – A Palm Springs international attorney with years of international legal education and experience such as you’ll find at our Palm Springs law firm, can provide you with a wealth of practical knowledge and the ability to find answers to your international law questions. It is to your advantage to also have a Palm Springs international lawyer working in cooperation with foreign counsel in other jurisdictions to ensure that the most cost-effective avenues are pursued to resolve your legal matter. However, many international matters can be resolved with letters between Palm Springs international lawyers and foreign lawyers, and international mediations and arbitrations can also be utilized. If you have been injured on a ship or an oil rig you have rights under the Jones Act to be compensated for your injuries, medical treatment, past and future wage loss and care.

3. Palm Springs Election and Campaign Finance Law – If you are considering running for political office or have already done so and are facing campaign finance legal issues, the time to hire a Palm Springs election attorney with election law knowledge is at the first possible opportunity before you get into hot water that can sink your campaign or put your political career into jeopardy.

4. Palm Springs Consumer Law and Class Actions – If you have paid for an item but have not received it, been promised an action or service that has not come to fruition or are considering ordering services or signing any type of agreement, the time to hire a Palm Springs consumer lawyer is immediately in order to avoid being scammed, or defrauded. A Palm Springs consumer attorney’s letter drafted forcefully but professionally will obtain the desired result, products or services in a good percentage of cases. Whether you ordered gold bars but did not receive them, were told that your car would be paid off when you traded it in on a new one or were promised that a pool would be completed in your back yard, a Palm Springs consumer attorney can and should be hired for a modest fee to write a letter on your behalf and demand the required action, products or services. If you think you are just one of many who have been scammed or defrauded in some way, you may have a class action.

5. Constitutional, Publishing and Publicity and Privacy Rights, Internet Law, Advertising and Media Law in Palm Springs – Defamation includes both libel and slander. Anyone in the media or publishing or broadcast world or with a web site is at risk of a lawsuit for claims of defamation or false advertising However, constitutional law questions also arise in civil rights discrimination cases, discrimination in employment and a wide variety of other legal matters. If you have been disenfranchised or your constitutional rights abused in any matter or if you have been accused of abusing the rights of others, contact a Palm Springs constitutional lawyer as soon as it occurs. If others seek to profit with the use of your name or image you also have a claim for damages.

6. Food and Wine Law, Hotel and Restaurant Law in Palm Springs – Today, hotels, restaurants, nightclubs, bars and grocery stores face an ever increasing host of new regulations they never faced previously. From the usual licensing problems they face with the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control for adherence to and violations of ABC rules, to new state regulations involving menus and calorie counts in fast food restaurants and new rules requiring groceries to show the country of origin in labels on most of their produce and meat. The worst case scenario today for an establishment serving alcohol, is to serve a minor alcohol who later dies in an auto accident. Such an establishment will need legal representation by a Palm Springs food, alcohol and restaurant lawyer before the ABC as well as legal defense of civil lawsuits filed against it.

7. Palm Springs Estate Planning, Wills and Trusts – The current estate tax in 2008 affects only people who die with an estate in excess of two million dollars. In 2009, that amount will increase to three and a half million dollars and in 2010, the estate tax is repealed. That’s the good news. If, however, the estate tax repeal is not extended by 2011, the estate tax will kick in again. The worse news is that in 2011, if the estate tax repeal is not extended, the estate tax will kick in at one million dollars. The current federal estate tax rate is a whopping 47 percent. That stays the same in 2009. But other current provisions in the tax code change or end in 2010. In light of this, it is more important than ever to hire a Palm Springs estate planning lawyer to draft your will and evaluate the need for a living trust to avoid probate fees ensure your estate goes to the beneficiaries you want it to go to. If you don’t have a will or trust at death, the state will determine who gets your estate, but it will usually be your spouse and children, of if you have none, your closest relatives.

8. Water, Agricultural and Natural Resource Law in Palm Springs – It is hoped by American farmers and meat producers that the new Country of Origin Labeling Law taking effect in groceries will cause food shoppers to seek meat and produce from the U.S. over food items from other countries. But it is the water shortage in California that has California farmers faced with dire consequences. In 2008, the California Governor formed a Water Bank to stave off mandatory water rationing, but if California has another dry winter, or more fires that draw upon California’s precious water reserves, or if the state legislature does not address the state’s delta environmental problems and expand the state’s water works, with a bill that has been tied up while the legislators haggled over a budget, rationing across the state could become a reality. If you have a water or agricultural issue, the time to call a Palm Springs agricultural lawyer with knowledge in this areas is before the issue becomes critical.

9. Insurance Law, Bad Faith, Psychologist, Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist Defense in Palm Springs – As insurance companies feel the pain of the stock market crash and face the reality of the value of their own investments decreasing, we expect to see insurance companies delaying settlements, and flirting with violations of the insurance bad faith statutes. As the public becomes more and more depressed with the sinking stock market, loss of jobs, reduced income and less enjoyment out of life, we also see the likelihood of greater use of psychiatrists, psychologists and psychotherapists. When claims are made against these professionals without justification, our Palm Springs law firm stands ready to defend them

10. Palm Springs Education Law and Child Accidents – A recent court ruling in California has given temporary relief to parents homeschooling their children. However, we still expect further court rulings to make guidelines that will govern when or under what circumstances homeschooling of children will be permitted in California. Children, as any parent knows, can be injured any time, anywhere. What should not happen is any injury to a child that is the result of the negligence of another. To that end, our Palm Springs personal injury lawyers championed protection for children and convinced at least one court and encouraged other personal injury attorneys to do the same, to uphold a new tort for negligent endangerment of a child.

If you have a legal matter in Palm Springs, Palm Desert, Indio, Coachella, Rancho Mirage, La Quinta, Indian Wells, Cathedral City, Desert Hot Springs, Thermal, Yucca Valley, Joshua Tree, Twentynine Palms or anywhere in the Coachella Valley, our Palm Springs law firm has the knowledge and resources to be your Palm Springs Lawyers and your Palm Springs Attorneys. Be sure to hire a Coachella Valley law firm with experience in Personal Injury, Car Accidents, Drownings, Brain Damage, Catastrophic Injuries, Wrongful Death, Business, Real Estate and Landlord Tenant Law, Homeowner Association Law, Construction, Trademarks, Patents, Corporations, Entertainment, Sports Law, Marketing, Advertising, Media, and Copyright Law, and who will endeavor to ensure that your rights are properly represented.

Additionally, if you have a legal matter which involves Environmental and Toxic Tort Law, Litigation, International, Shipping and Maritime Law, Employment, Election and Campaign Finance Law, Consumer Law and Class Actions, Constitutional, Publishing, Publicity, Privacy Rights, Internet Law, Advertising and Media Law, Food and Wine Law, Hotel and Restaurant Law, Estate Planning, Wills and Trusts, Water, Agricultural and Natural Resource Law, Insurance Law, Bad Faith and Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist Defense, Education Law or a Child Accident in Palm Springs or anywhere in Southern California, call the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson, or visit our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  and learn how a Palm Springs attorney from our offices can assist you.

WASHINGTON: In a breathtaking development that makes all prior bailout, rescue and stimulus plans including TARP Plans 1 through 15 pale by comparison, Palm Springs and Palm Desert Lawyer Sebastian Gibson today unveiled a 250 Trillion Dollar Bailout Uber-Rescue Plan and Stimulus (known both as BURP and BURPS) designed to give a boost to the nation’s troubled and often misunderstood lawyers by rescuing the heart of this country’s economy, its lawyers who, like much of the nation are depressed and stressed-out like never before.

If you need of an attorney with a sense of humor for a personal injury, business, employment, real estate, patent, trademark, copyright, environmental, entertainment or international law anywhere in Southern California, visit our website at http://www.sebastiangibsonlaw.com and call us at any of the numbers easily found on our website.

While Congress which has been split down partisan lines over each of the previous bailout and stimulus plans proposed so far, with many of the Senators being former lawyers, Congress is said to be almost unanimous in their hunger for a plan like BURP. For the first time, Congress could come together to the dinner table in our country’s time of need to help feed our nation’s overburdened and unappreciated lawyers.

It remains unclear, however, whether President Obama, himself a lawyer, will be willing to sign the legislation once the House and Senate pass BURP. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a spokesman said, “BURP may simply be too much to swallow.”

Using language only somewhat similar to what has been used by the nation’s Treasury Secretaries, but in some ways more graphic, Palm Desert Lawyer Sebastian Gibson stated that having BURPS could repair the part of our country’s anatomy that is in a word, most constipated. Warning that the nation faces the most serious economic crisis since lawyers went into depression in the 1930s, Sebastian Gibson said that BURPS are necessary to get the guts of this economy, its lawyers, functioning again. BURPS, he said, are necessary to get toxic matters, unemployed attorneys, out of the nation’s overburdened financial system, before the economy and the system shuts down completely.

Unlike TARP, which some have criticized for not having released sufficient funds, BURP is actually comprised of a number of smaller BURPS focused on various segments of the legal community such as personal injury lawyers, divorce lawyers, criminal lawyers and government lawyers. Designed this way to provide maximum relief, BURP has been praised for having at the center of it’s plan, these simultaneous releases (both large and small BURPS) designed to get the economy moving again before the financial system in this country shuts down completely and the recession becomes a full-blown depression.

It has taken Palm Springs Attorney Sebastian Gibson who comes from main street USA to be hailed as perhaps the one American with a vision that could actually stimulate the economy, applauded the broad support for BURP saying it was essential to have a BURP after all the other stimulus and rescue plans that have been causing so much gas among Americans and Congress. Without BURP, this build-up could have allowed the worst crisis in our history, to become a catastrophe, blasting away any hope of recovery.

The BURP plan includes help for legal victims of this gas build-up with over 47 Billion for health services including tax credits for the purchase of medications to prevent and relieve future financial indigestion and an 82 Billion credit for stomach relief medications for those already suffering from the bloating, cramping and other medical issues brought on by this crisis.

While some members of the media, notably those on Fox News, questioned the sanity of spending this amount of money to save this country’s lawyers from losing their jobs and bankruptcy, Palm Springs Attorney Sebastian Gibson reminded the detractors of the plan that there are now more lawyers than you can shake a stick at.

Speaking at a press conference, Gibson said, “Right now, dysfunctional attorneys are like gallstones in the nation’s bowels. If all the lawyers in this country were to go on the unemployment lines, unemployment in this country would swell like an inflamed or overripe prostate, and eventually explode, causing panic in the streets and around the world.”

While there was no comment from Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner about BURP, it was believed that many of the staff at Treasury were wondering why no one at the Treasury department had spit up a BURP plan of their own.

Visit our website at http://www.sebastiangibsonlaw.com and call us if you need a lawyer for a personal injury, business, real estate, employment, patent, trademark, copyright, environmental, entertainment or international law matter anywhere in Palm Springs, San Diego, Orange County or anywhere in Southern California.

As BURP was being digested by Congress, Palm Springs and Palm Desert Lawyer Sebastian Gibson was said to be working on a more effective plan designed to help the nation’s financial system by discharging all of the CEOs of major financial institutions. Known only as BARFS (Bailout And Rescue of the Financial System), details are expected to be released next week.

Here is Palm Springs Business Attorney Sebastian Gibson’s Top Ten:

1. You Betcha, sign a million book deal.

2. You Betcha, buy another snow mobile or two.

3. You Betcha, buy seven houses to keep up with McCain.

4. You Betcha, take over as a television talk show host as soon as this Alaska gig is over.

5. You Betcha, replace that Katie Couric and her confusing interview questioning.

6. You Betcha, turn those Alaskan consignment stores she used to shop at into high end boutiques.

7. You Betcha, spend, spend, spend.

8. You Betcha, drill, drill, drill.

9. You Betcha, offer to be Barack Obama’s personal shopping assistant.

10. You Betcha, open campaign offices for President in 2012.

Now here is everything (well, almost everything) you need in business about personal injury, car accidents, brain damage, wrongful deaths, business, real estate, landlord-tenant, homeowners association law, construction, patents, trademarks, corporations, entertainment law, advertising, copyrights, and litigation without making any serious legal missteps.

If you need to know more about business, environmental, international law, election and campaign law, consumer law, class actions, constitutional, internet, publishing, advertising, media, food and wine, hotel and restaurant law, estate planning, wills, trusts, water law, agricultural, insurance law, bad faith, psychologist and psychotherapist defense, education law or child accidents, you can find valuable information by searching for those subjects and adding the words Palm Springs business lawyer or Palm Springs business attorney to your search terms and looking for other articles by Sebastian Gibson.

You can also learn more about any of these business areas of law and how we can assist you as Palm Springs business attorneys, or as lawyers in any city, by calling the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson at any of the numbers which can be found on our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com .

1. Personal Injury, Car Accidents, Drowning Accidents, Brain Damage, Catastrophic Injuries and Wrongful Deaths in Palm Springs – If you’ve had a Palm Springs auto, motorcycle, truck, pedestrian, bicycle, bus, train, airplane or car accident of any kind, get the other driver’s information, take camera or cell phone pictures, call the police, get a report, seek medical treatment immediately, call us or another good Palm Springs personal injury lawyer, follow up with more medical treatment if you are still hurt, report the accident to your insurance agent, file a report with the DMV and don’t talk to anyone else or give a recorded statement until you talk with us. If you’ve lost a loved on in an accident, call us or another good Palm Springs personal injury lawyer immediately. If you’ve been bitten by a dog, get treatment, call animal control and then call us. If you or someone you know has come close to drowning, seek medical treatment immediately as death or serious injury can still occur hours later.

2. Palm Springs Business – Put everything in writing and preferably with our help or the help of another good Palm Springs business lawyer. Spend money only as you need to. A Palm Springs business attorney can tell you where to save costs and how to do it without risking liability. Limit your promises to employees and to customers. Buy insurance. Protect your intellectual property at the outset. Don’t disclose your inventions or any trade secrets to anyone without a non-disclosure agreement. Incorporate as soon as you are profitable. Get legal advice for problems or indications of pending lawsuits immediately. Keep all costs, including labor costs, to the bare minimum. Always use confidentiality agreements when disclosing valuable information and be careful what information you agree to receive. Tell customers they must pay in advance or on delivery. Do not agree to bill and be paid at a date after delivery. Otherwise you won’t be paid on a percentage of your products. Be wary of the potential for fraud by customers, business partners and employees.

3. Residential and Commercial Real Estate, Landlord Tenant Law, Mortgage Law and Homeowners Association Law in Palm Springs – Use a Palm Springs real estate lawyer who is also a Realtor, or a Realtor who is also a Palm Springs real estate attorney. Don’t buy or lease more than you need. Choose the right location. Choose the right mortgage. Don’t refinance if you think you may need to walk away from a home. Don’t buy more than you can afford. Check out the neighborhood carefully. Get a home inspection and a home warranty. Have a Palm Springs real estate lawyer look over the documents. Homeowner Associations are facing a host of problems stemming from the number of foreclosures. As fees are reduced by vacant homes and condos, projects must be trimmed back or delayed in order to save money. Some homeowner associations, who were already in trouble, may face additional problems in the future and both homeowners and their associations should consult with legal counsel to help resolve how to deal with such issues.

4. Construction in Palm Springs – With the construction industry in it’s biggest ever slump, down more than 90% from its peak in many areas, Palm Springs contractors need to shift their focus to energy free homes, apartment construction and to take advantage of contracts likely to be offered for bid under the new administration’s plan to create new jobs rebuilding the country’s infrastructure, construction of roads, bridges, the electrical grid and other utility projects. If you are dealing with contractors yourself, always use licensed contractors and have a Palm Springs construction lawyer look over your contracts. You can also investigate the contractor online to ensure he is licensed and insured and a Palm Springs construction attorney can do an additional investigation at little extra cost. Never pay a contractor the entire sum for a project at the start. Put all agreements in writing, including any changes.

5. Palm Springs Patents and Biotechnology – A patent should be applied for, for any new, and non-obvious process, or invention and to any new improvement of an invention at first opportunity. A patent is good for 20 years. Depending upon the complexity, most utility patent applications will cost between ,000 and ,000.00. A design patent can be applied for by a Palm Springs patent attorney, for the look of an item and is good for 14 years. A provisional patent can be applied for, good for one year at a cost of half of the usual utility patent cost but is only good for one year. If the inventor does not upgrade the provisional patent into a utility patent application within that period, usually for the cost of the remainder of the corresponding cost of a utility patent, the inventor loses his or her protection. A patent is pending once it has been applied for, and can be licensed, or sold outright. Without a patent, others can make and sell your invention with no compensation to you. Patent searches help the Palm Springs patent lawyer write an application around existing patents and cost an additional sum, usually under ,000.00. Drawings must also be prepared for the patent application usually for under 0.00. A design patent can be sought for between ,000 to ,500 and a European design patent for between ,000 to ,500. Accelerated patent applications usually cost an additional 50% of normal patent applications. Foreign patent applications also require additional fees.

6. Palm Springs Trademarks – Trademark any original logos, designs, words, phrases, symbols or combinations that you use to identify your products or services as soon as possible. Call a Palm Springs trademark attorney as soon as anyone else’s trademark or service mark is so similar as to cause a likelihood of confusion in the public or if you receive a cease and desist letter from someone else accusing you of infringement. Trademark applications range from between ,500 if there has not yet been any use of the trademark to ,500 to apply for a trademark already in use. Therefore, to save money, create some products and advertising materials and apply for the trademark once they are ready to be sold and advertised.

7. Palm Springs Corporations – Never incorporate by yourself. Corporations will not protect you from liability if you do not follow corporate formalities correctly. Protect your intellectual property from the start with the help of a Palm Springs corporations attorney. Don’t borrow someone else’s employee handbook or fire problematic employees without legal advice. Don’t get investors without seeing one of our Palm Springs corporate attorneys. Cut costs to the bone. Use extra money to advertise, and sell in new markets. A Palm Springs corporations lawyer can provide you with advice as to which type of corporation or LLC to use for your business.

8. Entertainment Law, Sports Law, Marketing, Advertising, Media and Copyrights in Palm Springs – Whether you are a musician, an actor, a model, a writer, an athlete, a broadcaster or connected in any other way to the entertainment industry, contact us or another good Palm Springs entertainment attorney as soon as anyone gives you a contract to sign. Signing a bad contract can end your career before it’s ever begun. As soon as you have written any body of work, have it copyrighted. You can do this quite easily yourself, but if you need assistance or if someone else infringes your copyrighted work, you can then file suit against such a party.

9. Palm Springs Litigation – At the first sign that someone may sue you or your business, consult with a Palm Springs litigation attorney. Many times, a lawsuit can be forestalled before it has been filed or the matter resolved with letters between the litigation attorneys. If you are served with a lawsuit, hire a Palm Springs litigation lawyer like one from our firm who specializes in mediations and non-binding arbitrations so your litigation can be resolved at the soonest possible opportunity and limit your exposure to years of lawyer’s fees and costs as your case winds slowly through the courts.

10. Employment Law in Palm Springs – It may seem silly to think you should hire a Palm Springs employment attorney whenever you are considering firing an employee, but it has come to that. However, a consultation with a good Palm Springs employment law firm can provide you with the advice of how to handle your employee relations both immediately and in the future as you either seek to cut costs or get rid of a problematic employee. If you have been sued or threatened with a suit, or are being scammed by an employee, consult a Palm Springs employment lawyer immediately.

If you have a legal matter in Palm Springs, Palm Desert, Indio, Coachella, Rancho Mirage, La Quinta, Indian Wells, Cathedral City, Desert Hot Springs, Thermal, Yucca Valley, Joshua Tree, Twentynine Palms or anywhere in the Coachella Valley, our Palm Springs law firm has the knowledge and resources to be your Palm Springs Lawyers and your Palm Springs Attorneys. Be sure to hire a Coachella Valley law firm with experience in Personal Injury, Car Accidents, Drownings, Brain Damage, Catastrophic Injuries, Wrongful Death, Business, Real Estate and Landlord Tenant Law, Homeowner Association Law, Construction, Trademarks, Patents, Corporations, Entertainment, Sports Law, Marketing, Advertising, Media, and Copyright Law, and who will endeavor to ensure that your rights are properly represented.

Additionally, if you have a legal matter which involves Environmental and Toxic Tort Law, Litigation, International, Shipping and Maritime Law, Employment, Election and Campaign Finance Law, Consumer Law and Class Actions, Constitutional, Publishing, Publicity, Privacy Rights, Internet Law, Advertising and Media Law, Food and Wine Law, Hotel and Restaurant Law, Estate Planning, Wills and Trusts, Water, Agricultural and Natural Resource Law, Insurance Law, Bad Faith and Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist Defense, Education Law or a Child Accident in Palm Springs or anywhere in Southern California, call the Law Offices of R. Sebastian Gibson, or visit our website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com  and learn how a Palm Springs attorney from our offices can assist you.

Clients who want to trademark a slogan or phrase for their products can come from Santa Ana, California, Palm Springs, CA, Anaheim, Palm Desert, Carlsbad, La Jolla, Newport Beach, Irvine, Fontana, Rancho Cucamonga, Huntington Beach, Ontario, Santa Monica, Santa Barbara, Tustin, Buena Park, Miurrieta, Rancho Mirage, Orange, Indian Wells or La Quinta. Some have creative ideas that no one has ever thought of before. There are also some people who have difficulty understanding why they can’t trademark something that they were sure was original, but isn’t.

To demonstrate that situation, we present this fictional story of the client who is a child supported by her proud parents. Unfortunately, it is not so different from the occasional consultation we have had.

As a California trademark lawyer, I was contacted by a child wishing to trademark some phrases she had come up with. Her parents were convinced they were on their way toward unheard of riches.

“We want to get trademarks on all of Susie’s special sayings,” the mother told me.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because we think they’re so cute, everyone is going to start saying them,” the mother responded.

“Are you going to use them on any products?” I asked.

“If we get the trademarks, we’ll license them,” the father said.

“And put the money in the bank for Susie’s college tuition,” the mother added.

I explained how they could apply for a trademark on the basis of an intent to use the trademark in the future. But they weren’t interested in the specifics.

“Whatever,” the mother said.

“Okay, what have you got?” I asked.

“Let’s Party,” Susie said.

I searched the phrase on the U.S. Patent and Trademark site and gave the family the bad news. “It’s taken.”

“Rats,” Susie said.

“That’s taken too,” I said.

Susie looked oddly confused.

“What’s your most original phrase,” I asked.

“Let’s play,” Susie said.

“Taken,” I said after I looked up the phrase.

Susie was getting close to having a tantrum. “Bite me,” Susie said angrily.

“That’s taken too,” I said irritating her further.

“I thought Susie’s phrases were so cute…” the mother said.

“You people don’t get out much, do you?” I said.

“Okay, Mr. Smartypants…” the father said.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “You may just have something there.

I looked up the phrase and gave the family the good news. “Mr. Smartypants is still available.”

After the family did a quick dance in celebration, signed an attorney retainer agreement and plopped down the retainer in cash, they left the office planning what products to put their new trademarked phrase onto.

Today, as everyone knows, “Mr. Smartypants” is a household name. You can’t go jogging anywhere today without seeing “Mr. Smartypants” stretched across the backsides of jogger’s clothing (not actually, but this story could become true some day).

While Susie never went to college, and since the idea was her father’s, Susie is only the heir to a massive fortune but now has her own clothing line, “Ms. Smartypants,” which her father allowed her to develop.

None of this story is true of course except the fact that as of the date this fictional story, “Mr. Smartypants” is still available to be trademarked as is “Ms. Smartypants.”